I'm Back!

I can't believe that it's been so long since I've written anything here! I have been busy--working at 2 jobs for a total of 50-70 hours/week since late April--and preoccupied.

And this is just a quick update. I've been making it to yoga quite a bit, but I haven't had a stretch of more than 7 days in a row for quite some time now. Never less than 3X/week though, usually 5.

I'm not gonna make it to TT in September. No money, not ready, etc, etc. One of our newly minted teachers told me, "If you wait 'til you feel ready, you'll never go!!" I am going to apply for a scholarship for Spring Teacher Training and see what happens.

Tonight I practiced with 3 other women at a class taught by one of our very best teachers and yoginis. After class, in the changing room, she said, "Oh, my muscles are so sore!" I said, "Oh, what from?" and she said, "I don't know!" For some reason, I found this shocking. I guess that I wasn't aware of how much and how often I put skilled yogis and teachers on a pedestal. Yes, even the strongest, most flexible, knowledgeable practitioners of yoga have aches, pains, and challenges--mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. They put their yoga shorts on one leg at a time too, ha.

When I'm sore or achy after yoga, I sometimes tend to see it as a big negative thing, proof I'm not 'good' at yoga, or one more reason to be grumpy and resistant to my practice. I've also managed, at times, to see aches and soreness as signs of progress, encouragement, proof that my practice is moving somewhere new, doing something to literally change my body.

It's so easy to get caught up in the illusion that my practice is like a job: I have tasks to complete, and then I'll be done. I see my teacher, a woman with an incredible practice who makes every asana look effortless, who's practiced for more than a decade, and she still experiences change and growth and pain in her practice.

No, yoga practice is not like a job. It's like...I don't know...a good friendship: One never knows where it might lead, it can grow deeper, stronger, and more fulfilling with time, and often painful things somehow lead to something sweet. My best friendships are like that...and I guess that yoga is a kind of friendship, with one's self, one's spirit, and with a universal spirit, the Divine. I am so grateful for my yoga practice.

I hope to blog a little more often from here on out.
Oh, and I may be doing another Bikram Challenge soon...